I hate me too much.

Bad day or good day ? I don't know well ...
I was alone today, and I don't eat a lot ... I kept my self control but not at all, not in the way I want !
Something went wrong today ... 


I'm vegan. Yes, since may 2010. But, today I eat chocolate. Not dark chocolate ; white and wilk chocolate ! 
Why ? I don't know yet ... 


I ask myself, my brain. No answer. I feel too alone now ... Too alone with my "not-vegan" body, with my fat body, with my stomac who cries, cries because he receive milk, butter and so much "not-vegan" things. I feel too alone with my hips who cries too ...


I want to be thin and really skinny ! I don't want to be fat or a really big girl !


When I will be thin, the girl who I want to be ? When can I keep my self control all a day in everything, all a week, all a month ..?