Only gain.

Feeling so depressed ...


I cut myself on friday for the first time : On the wrist and the (big) thight. The same word : Fail ; 'cause I'm just a waste which fail in all. 


I lose an important test, that's why I said to my mother that I don't deserve my red color which I ask since too long time, two years. That's why I cut my skin, that's why I don't do anything just stay on a chair looking depressing blog. 
I eat, and the consequence is gain, and the sadness doesn't quit. 


I'm lost. And I'm conscious that what I have written doesn't mean anything.