Just one week I started to cut ... But I'm addict now, 'cause I miss, I waste all I do, and now, I find an issue, a solution : cutting. Four time I cut during one week when I have eaten like ... like what ?
The scar on my thight is always here, net. On my thight, it just starts to disappear.
So, I have an other problem, a other thing to hide which doen't help me to be confident in myself : My cutting (with my fat thight and fat stomach).
I'm confuse in all, in my life, so my writing is too.
If I'm writing this this evening, it's just because I have eaten, and feel too full ! I want to cut. I can go to my bed, sleep and forget, but ... I have eaten, so the fat will rest and will be accumulate on my body already fat. I'm scared, I don't want to cut again and again ..! My body is already ugly and damaged today ...
Awn ... I know that I'm really depressed ! Can't stop to listen depressing song ... Can't stop be sad ...
Will I arrive to reach my goal before be dead of my fucking bullshit with my body ?
Who can guess that today I'll be a depressed girl with fucking big problem to ?
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